Hate is a strong word so let’s just say that I am a dis-liker of amusement parks (unlike Deidre). I do not like heights, crowds, tourists or crowds of tourists. So when my sister and her family came to town and wanted to go to Xplor Adventure Park I was a bit skeptical. Skeptical? I thought it was a terrible idea. Xplor is by far one of the most visited destinations in the Riviera Maya (and has hundreds of parking spots for tour buses to prove it) and its centerpiece is the highest zip line in Latin America. That’s great I thought, waiting in line to get terrified is just what I was hoping to do today. But family is family and who else would you plummet to your death for?

So we went to Xplor Adventure Park. Once we got there I perked up a bit, we were heading downhill so I didn’t think there could be any possibility of danger ahead. That all changed when I realized that the ticketing area was in a subterranean cavern and involved mandatory helmets and locker keys. I had no problem with helmets – safety first after all. Lockers seemed safe too until I realized that I needed to put all of my stuff in there. ALL of it. Apparently there is a very real danger of losing or damaging your phone or anything else in your pockets. Wait, what? How will I call for help without my phone? How will my family post embarrassing pictures of me on Facebook? My ever caring family convinced me that it was okay so I walked with them into an iPhone free yet phobia-rich environment. And here’s the kicker. I loved every second of it.

xplor zip line
Some people are just better at zip lines than others. I am not one of them.
Xplor
See, I told you. She’s a natural. Look at the pointed toes, relaxed posture and smile!

My fears of being phone-less and thus picture-less were soon assuaged, Xplor has an excellent network of cameras to capture every step of your visit. So don’t worry, if you happen to look scared or make a dumb face your family will be able to purchase photos of it before leaving the park.

Soon I got my revenge. I may not be great at heights but I can drive an ATV/Golf Cart/Thing anywhere, any time, any place. Although it’s occasionally stressful for the passengers.

Xplor ATV
Over a drop of at least a mile or 3 meters or so (I still haven’t quite got the metric system down).
Xplor atv
Why is the freezing water only hitting the passengers? Oh yeah, my skills.

And then I lured them into taking a massive water-slide…

Xplor water slide
My nephew handled the curves like a champ. I nearly flew off the side.

Into my lair.

Xplor underground river
One of the few existing photos of the rare subterranean yeti.

Well, whatever. As a pale hairy guy that’s afraid of heights I had to claim someplace as my own and the underground river is as good as it gets.

I still don’t like heights or crowds or crowds at heights or any other combination of the two. I do like Xplor Adventure Park. Xplor handles lots of heights and lots of crowds so adeptly that somehow I forgot that they were there. It was a fabulous day, my family didn’t watch me plummet to my death nor did they hear my screeches (the zip lines are pretty long) but we got to spend some quality time together. If you’d like to spend time with your family or friends by watching then scream down a 1,000 meter (or whatever) tall zip line, or swim through an underground river than Xplor is the spot for you.

jamie harris xplor
PS. If you have your own blog you get to pick which pictures are made public.